This is private.
Please don’t read any further
I write of what I can not speak aloud. I talk into the empty spaces
There’s hardly a day that goes by, even now, even when so many years have passed, there’s hardly a day that passes.
Are you still here? You shouldn’t be. Please leave me
Those times you would ring. You left me breathless more hopeless less much less. Those late night calls. Long slurred conversations of regret. Of short term intentions and plans and. The silence. And. All I could hear would be your breathing. As if in sleep. And I’d press that phone hard to my ear. And my heart would beat for you my brother.
And you would call. And I’d listen to your soft words. And I’d will you to continue. And when my words were words and nothing nothing more to you. I’d will you to, and not to. And we would listen to each other. In our different places. From our different places.
This is too hard to bare. Please. go
I’ve some bad news. I’m so sorry R took his own life. He’s dead.
I’m falling now. Don’t catch me. You can’t
If each floor was a year you would not have completed your journey yet. That day. Seeing further than I ever could. That day you stepped free. Started a new.
Air leaves my lungs. Winded. I ache. I ache. I. There’s a noise. Its small. I can not understand it.
Where. Where. How. When. Why. Wherehowwhenwhywhere. Shut. Down. Slide. The floor is cold. I feel it. But I don’t. I don’t know it yet. But I don’t feel. It. I. Feel. The emptying
Breathing now. That noise. That small noise, its leaking from inside of me. It still is
Suicide is now the biggest killer of young men in the UK. Statistics show that the numbers rise significantly each year.
On average there are three young male suicides every single day in Britain.